Shell shock, fall back, anyone I see through. [Chuck]

[priordivergence]

It's bad. I know it's bad if the shame and recrimination can kick in before I've had a chance to sleep it off. The February air calms some of my racing thoughts but it does nothing to change the fact that I'm drunk and it does even less to take away any of the rage coursing through me. One conversation with Porthos and Aramis and I feel sixteen again, constantly in danger, constantly betrayed, constantly having my trust broken. It's not a healthy look.

I'm embarrassed to look at my phone. I only half remember the texts I sent out but I know that most of them went to Chuck because he wasn't at the party. The guilty part of me knows that I'll have to look at them at some point and it may as well be now. I'm unsurprised to see that they've been read, but no replies.

[You're not at the party]

[I wanna dacne with u]

[Nd kiss u :*]

[Kissed someone lsat year...]

[I'm so angry. I'm drunk.]

[Iwnna burn this house dwn]

I take in a long, calming breath and then a gulp of water from my bottle, trying to steady myself. I'm going to need to get a cab home.