[Greytris AU]

[priordivergence]

I'm standing there in my kitchen, trying to remind Grey of the drinks we've left cooling on the counter, but I can't quite fish out the words as he reaches up and touches my jaw. For long, painful seconds, all I can think of is the last person who cradled me like this, who watched my face with quiet understanding. I miss Tobias. I miss Christina and Uriah and knowing who I was. Maybe it had been an illusion of understanding, but it had been something.

I stare at Grey now, feeling like I'm on the precipice of something dangerous.

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[silenttrainbaby]

His fingers curl around the jut of her jaw and Grey searches her face. For one who can't speak, he takes the means of communication he knows how to use. The words on his skin, gestures. And touch.

He doesn't think much of it as he leans in, pressing his mouth to hers.

[priordivergence]

My whole body jerks, as if I've been hit with an electric shock. More than ever, I'm aware of the last time I was kissed, by how very few people I've kissed, and the fear of intimacy that lived in my landscape.

"Grey?" I ask, aware of the creeping flush on my cheeks.

[silenttrainbaby]

Still framing her jaw with his fingers, Grey pulls back just enough to look into her eyes again. Is she all right?

[priordivergence]

I stand there, bruised and aching and so confused. I don't think he's the kind of person to expect me to thank him that way. Does he think that's what I expect? The questions make my head spin.

"Why did you kiss me?"

[silenttrainbaby]

Why? No, not because Grey thought she owed him. Far from.

Instead, he kissed her because he wanted to. Because her mouth seems soft and she's kind.

He smiles just a little with the slightest shrug. He leans in to do it again.

[priordivergence]

I wouldn't have expected such a soft kiss to come from someone as contained and powerful as Grey, but it is. It's soft and welcoming and makes my stomach do a little flip. It makes me kiss back.

[silenttrainbaby]

Stepping closer, Grey's hands land on Tris's hips, pulling her against him, gentle still. He explores her mouth, then, the new taste of it, the feel of it. He feels a heat bloom in his belly, feels how soft she is in places against him.

[priordivergence]

There's so little softness left in me after Dauntless initiation that I'm amazed Grey can find any. Even as I feel myself half-sitting, half-leaning on the arm of my couch, pulling him closer, my brain is racing and reminding me that I've never been with anyone. That I've only kissed one person.

[silenttrainbaby]

There is softness in everyone. Even in Grey, the one who spent his life on the train being bred to kill.

All he knows he learned on the train. He didn't learn about touching women though, not concretely. Only words spoken by Edgar in the dark of night on the train. Words like "tits," and "twat" and other abstract concepts.

He rests his foreehead against hers, feeling a heat in his gut, a tingling between his legs.

[priordivergence]

I try and cant my hips back but I'm pressed flushed against my own couch and aware of what I make Grey feel. Heat is flushed across my skin and through my stomach, but it's soured with nervousness. Uncertainty.

I don't know if I want this, but I can't say that I don't.

[silenttrainbaby]

The idea of wanting something is as foreign to Grey as bread was when he first arrived in the city.

Kissing her forehead, he cards fingers through her short hair, then along the column of her neck.

Just this feels almost decadent.

[priordivergence]

His mouth off mine, I finally remember how to speak. "I've never..." I start, my stomach squeezing.

He must think I'm such a child.

[silenttrainbaby]

They're both innocent in their own ways. Anything Grey knows he learned from Gilliam and Edgar, or mutual fumbling. There were far too many women on the train. Pulling back just a little, he lets their eyes meet again.

He's never either.

His hand wanders lower, over her shirt, along the swell of a breast.

[silenttrainbaby]

There was a sharpness to everything now that they were more intimate, now that Grey knows how Tris's skin feels.

They run and train as much as they ever did. Today, he has a handful of knives and stands a good distance from the post they use as a target. Flipping the blade in his fingers, he takes a breath and throws, watching it land with a thunk in the wood.

[priordivergence]

I know I'm strong. I've worked hard to be. It's even easier to be strong with friends and allies, with support.

I smile at him and throw a knife too.

[silenttrainbaby]

When Tris's knife embeds into the wood, Grey smiles, just a little and adjusts his aim. A deep breath and he throws, letting the knife land, skimming against Tris's blade.

[priordivergence]

I laugh, even as I can't help reaching up to touch the scar on my ear. "When I was training, I had to stand against the target and have knives thrown at me."

[silenttrainbaby]

It would be good practice, but Grey's pretty sure he couldn't throw knives at her. What if he missed?

However, he hands her his and moves to the post. He plucks out those already there and lets them drop, then he stands, his back against the wood and he smiles at her.

[priordivergence]

My eyes go wide and I shake my head before I even think about it. "I'm not good enough," I say before I can stop myself. "I can't do this to you."

[silenttrainbaby]

But Grey stays where he is, his gaze firm. She can do it. He trusts her.

And if he's cut, it's just another scar. What's one more?

[priordivergence]

Is this how Tobias felt? At least I don't have to pretend not o care. If I just...I have to breathe and aim. Just a few inches to the side and he'll be okay. I can do this.

I throw.

[silenttrainbaby]

Grey doesn't move and he hears the knife thunk into the wood, by his hip. He smiles. He knew she could do it.

He cants his chin up in invitation. For Tris to come closer, to take his hand.

[priordivergence]

I hurry over, my knives completely forgotten. "I didn't know if I'd do that without hurting you!" Maybe I shouldn't show fear, but he made me worry.

[silenttrainbaby]

She did fine. More than fine. He takes her hand, pulling her to his bare chest, arms tight around her. He hadn't been worried and she did well.

[priordivergence]

I fold myself into his arms, leaning against his chest with my eyes closed. "I'm not brave enough to hurt someone I care about again."